REMEMBERING RIVER PHOENIX: 25 Years On + Book Synopsis/ Review

In the early hours of Halloween morning 1993, highly acclaimed and much beloved actor River Phoenix collapsed and died from a drug overdose, outside LA’s Viper Room.

He was just 23.

Twenty-five years later, his death still haunts many: his family, fans, the industry, those who followed or admired his passion for veganism, environmental and social issues. In the immediate aftermath of his demise, fans congregated outside the now infamous club to light candles, write tributes, and mourn. And just as quickly, anger and blame began to swirl regarding the why and how of River’s demise. How could such a promising young man, not yet even in the prime of his career, have fallen so brutally?

Before I address these questions, let’s start with how I became fascinated by one of the most famous icons of Generation X.

Discovering River

Growing up, I was familiar with the name River Phoenix and how “he died from drugs outside the Viper Room.” I knew he was the brother of Joaquin Phoenix. Yet I’m sad to say I could not match a face to the very name of River Phoenix. It wasn’t until February 2013 when I came across an online article that I truly discovered River. The piece detailed how River’s last, as of until then uncompleted film Dark Blood, was finally being released.

The article provided a brief biography, and named his most famous works, such as Stand by Me. Now that movie I had seen before, and absolutely loved. And I learned that River is the actor who portrays young Indy in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: the hot young  guy with Leo-like hair? I thought. Aha! Now the name finally had a face. And one good looking visage too.

The article further discussed how Dark Blood, directed by George Sluizer, had ceased production upon River’s death; it was never released. The plot revolves around a distant Hollywood couple, played by Jonathan Pryce and Judy Davis, desperate to rekindle their relationship; they embark on a second honeymoon trip, driving through the desert southwest. However, when their Bentley breaks down, they become stranded. They soon encounter the young, mysterious loner Boy, who forges a barren existence off the land. What follows is a clash of cultures and ideology: who will emerge unscathed?

Upon finishing the article, I wanted to know more: about River, his life and times, his movies. In the following months I began to watch his films, available on YouTube at the time (such is no longer the case). I rewatched Stand By Me, and immediately saw how his performance as the tough, yet brooding Gordie, launched his career. I rewatched the scenes of him as Young Indy. And I watched My Own Private Idaho, in which he plays a narcoleptic, gay hustler alongside Keanu Reeves: wow. Just wow. What a film. It is so bizarre and yet so perfectly stitched together it is like a piece of art. You don’t have to be gay to love this film. River’s character Mike is so achingly real—sensitive, sweet, so vulnerable—that I literally want to hug him. That River and Keanu portayed gay characters, very taboo even 30 years ago, says a lot. It is no wonder that this film, and especially River, are held in high esteem by the LGBTQ community.

That summer, 2013, was my River Phoenix summer. I truly came to know more about him and his work. When I watched Dogfight, a touching love story set in 1963 San Francisco, that was it. I was and will forever be an “RP” fan for life. That River—the son of 60’s hippies, and he himself an earthy, pacifist,vegan guy—portrayed a Marine, and convincingly so, attests to his true talent as an actor. He fully immersed himself into every character. And it felt genuine every time. Yet, this very immersion proved to be his Achilles heel. At some point, River began doing drugs during his early career. When filming for MOPI began, River wanted to study real life gay hustlers: he talked with, interviewed them, and was even mistaken as the real thing; he was flagged down by a potential client. He talked with them, but did not pursue anything further. Yet in preparing for the role, he went all out in one tragic aspect: the heavy drug abuse present among the hustling demographic. Even family, friends, and others on set suspected that River was more than acting.

Just two years after the release of MOPI, River was gone. The golden boy, the “vegan James Dean,” died on a dirty sidewalk in Hollywood. His very life and death are contradictions. How could someone who seemed so pure and genuine, who followed veganism in the extreme, just as easily abuse drugs? I had to find out; I needed to learn more, so I read In Search of River Phoenix: The Truth Behind the Myth.

Book Synopsis & Review

Written by Barry C. Lawrence, In Search of River Phoenix is an exhaustive, comprehensive biography. At more than 400 pages, the book is filled with both previously published and new interviews, and dozens of photographs. The book begins with a forward by William Richert, Hollywood producer, MOPI castmate, and one of River’s closest confidantes. Lawrence then explains in his introduction about his fascination with River, and his quest to further learn and understand the actor’s life. Lawrence writes chronologically, starting with the origins of River’s parents, John Bottom and Arlyn Dunetz, and how they became real life hippies. River was born in rural Oregon, but the Bottom family never stayed in one place for long; in his adolescence, River and his family moved well over one hundred times. River’s parents and their experiences alone well illuminate the times in which they lived; they refused to conform, lived a nomadic existence, and experimented with drugs. During two particularly powerful hallucinogenic trips, both Arlyn and John claimed that God spoke directly to them: it was a “religious reawakening.” Before long they  joined the evangelical group “The Children of God,” and followed the group to South America to help proselytize.

Known as COG, the group is nothing more than a sick, demented sex cult; Lawrence rightfully and scathingly reveals the group for what they are. He exposes the prevalent child sex abuse practiced by the group, as encouraged by COG founder David Berg, known as “Mo.” Lawrence includes excerpts of “Mo Letters,” in which Berg blatantly instructs his followers to basically sexually abuse children; he also encourages incest. Included in this section are several COG “comic book” illustrations and pamphlets which further reveal how twisted the group is.

Chapter 4, in which all this is discussed, is a truly key component of this biography. I had read briefly online how River and his family lived in a “sex cult” for a time, but that was about it. Lawrence doesn’t beat around the bush: he wants readers to know how COG ruined so many lives, and how River was one of its many victims. Several of River’s friends attest that he was severely sexually abused as a child, not just by other cult members, but possibly by his own parents. Regardless, River was an abused child. I am glad that Lawrence exposes COG and explores this period of River’s life, but it is such an upsetting and emotionally depleting chapter that I had to take a break from the book for a few days. Lawrence concludes that, due to such traumatic experiences, “River’s demons were planted.”

The book continues on how little River and his sister Rain (and eventually his siblings Joaquin, Summer, and Liberty) would sing on street corners. Wielding a guitar much larger than him, River and his singing siblings were essentially helping to provide for their family; one could easily argue that John and Arlyn were exploiting their children. Eventually disillusioned with COG, River’s parents planned their exodus back to the US, in 1976. Enroute on a cargo ship, the children witnessed how the crew caught and killed fish; it proved the impetus for the kids to swear off eating meat. In time, the family became vegan, eschewing eggs, dairy, and honey. Further change occurred when John legally changed the family’s last name to Phoenix, to symbolize new beginnings in life.

Lawrence then details River’s rough adjustment to living in the US; having spent years in South America, Spanish was his native tongue, and he never received a formal education. The author highlights how “Hollywood was Arlyn’s idea,” in that she capitalized on her childrens’ talent. Her persistence paid off, and soon River was starring in commercials, TV shows, and eventually movies. With plenty of excerpts and interviews, Lawrence paints a detailed view of his subject as he ascended quickly into the limelight. Every project and film River starred in is given much the same detail. He also dedicates a good portion of the book in examining River’s mucical talents, and his band, Aleka’s Attic, quest for a record deal.

Throughout the book Lawrence keeps present these themes of duality: “hippy” v. Hollywood, veganism v. drugs, authenticity v. reputation/ appearance, dedication v. recklessness. For much of his career, River is very conscious of his image: promoting pacifist ideals, veganism, and animal rights. That he felt very genuine about these, there is no doubt. Yet in time, like any young individual, he tired of his squeaky clean image and began seeking “edgier” roles. Many would argue that MOPI was the point of no return. Lawrence traces River’s drug use and how it destroyed his relationships with his girlfriends, despite their pleas that he get help. His drug abuse escalated to the point in that even in his last films, he physically looks different: gaunt, exhausted, ashen faced, suddenly older than his young twenties.

Yet, for the longest time, River was the consummate actor: he hid his drugs problems well, and manipulated many into thinking that he was just fine. As Lawrence argues, this also led to his undoing. Surrounded by a seedy Hollywood crowd and refusing to seek help, this proved deadly. The highly detailed chapter “River Falls,” examines the timeline and circumstances leading up to and surrounding his demise. What is made clear via many witnesses at the club, is that no one stepped in to help River, when it was obvious that he was overdosing from a speedball—a deadly combination of cocaine and heroin. Even when the actor stepped outside and experienced several seizures, those with him—his sister, brother, and girlfriend—were paralyzed in what to do. To the very last, people were afraid in exposing the truth of River’s habits; his reputation proved more important than the person. Yes, River was the one who chose to abuse drugs, there is no denying that. But, as Lawrence includes this quote from Richert: “[River] died in the midst of all these people, and nobody would touch him, because he was a celebrity.” Had someone, anyone, intervened sooner, River may very well be alive today.

*****

In Search of River Phoenix is a work of love. Six years of research makes for a highly detailed, revealing book. Lawrence contacted and interviewed as many people—family, friends, actors, etc.—as he could. Not surprisingly, Lawrence never heard back from River’s immediate family, in his requests for interviews; the family has been very quiet regarding River’s death.

Some drawbacks of the work are that Lawrence does tend to repeat information or points, but for me this did not detract too much from my reading experience. The author leaves no stone unturned, and even goes so far as to include a chapter that discusses River’s horoscope, name and numerology, apparent chats with psychics, etc. Many readers will find such information as filler material or downright fluff, but this is a tiny section of the book. True River fans are further rewarded with the last chapter dedicated to trivia tidbits. The book even includes a complete nomination and filmography list, and in depth timeline. Published in 2004, the book is not up to date in that it does not discuss the 2013 release of Dark Blood; I honestly would be interested to see what Lawrence would write and further learn about the film.

For the truly dedicated River Phoenix fans, this is a book for you. Even those mildly interested in the actor will be amazed by the uniquenss of River’s life, career, and talents. For those looking for a more direct, quick read, I recommended Last Night at the Viper Room: River Phoenix and the Hollywood He Left Behind by Gavin Edwards. Half the length of Lawrence’s book with twice as many chapters, Edwards examines River’s life and death via the lens of 1980s and 1990s Hollywood culture. The book includes several color photographs and several tales and anecdotes not found in In Search Of. But for those seeking a more encyclopedic biography, pick up Lawrence’s work.

Final Thoughts

River has been gone now longer than he lived. Of course, one wonders what he would have accomplished had he lived. After his death, one Hollywood star in particular took several roles originally meant for River Phoenix: an actor named Leonardo DiCaprio. Without a doubt, had River not passed away that night his future would have rivaled the Leo’s and Brad’s of the industry. But we’ll never know. I’d like to think that River’s true passion, music, would have flourished. Perhaps he would have finally reached a record deal for Aleka’s Attic. He would have continued his true talent in acting, but he could further dedicate himself to creating music.

It is all too easy to categorize River as a hippy, a junkie, a hypocrite, the tragic, fallen Hollywood golden boy. Actress Martha Plimpton, River’s first girlfriend and whom many consider to be the true love of his life, said bluntly in 1993: “He was just a boy, a very good-hearted boy who was very fucked up and had no idea how to implement his good intentions.” I honestly believe this is a fair statement. And what Lawrence makes very clear in his book, through his research and interviews, is how kind and caring River was: to his family, to his friends, and to his fans.   However you may perceive him, there is no denying that some kind of magic occurs when River appears on the silver screen. The individual may be gone, but his essence, passion, and talent live on, reborn, just like his name: the mythical phoenix, rising up from the ashes, forever eternal.

~LMC

In Search of River Phoenix: The Truth Behind the Myth by Barry C. Lawrence, Wordsworth Publishing, USA, 2004, 456 pages

Last Night at the Viper Room: River Phoenix and the Hollywood He Left Behind by Gavin Edwards, HarperCollins, USA, 2013, 273 pages

Race Report: Denver Hot Chocolate 15k/5k

This past Sunday, October 7, my friends and I ran the Allstate Hot Chocolate 15k and 5k in downtown Denver.

Jamie, Yoli, and I. Photo courtesy of Jamie C.

My friends from Hike with Purpose, the same hiking group that I went to Grand Teton with, told me a few months before that they were visiting Denver to run the race, and that I should join in on the fun.

Of course I said yes. 🙂

Termed “America’s Sweetest Race,” the Hot Chocolate Race Series began in 2008 in Chicago, and has since spread to other major cities. The event provides each participant with hot chocolate and other sugary goodies at the post race party. Even the aid stations, called “sweet stations,” provide M&Ms, marshmallows, and chocolate chips to snack on. Plus, you receive great swag with this race: a hoodie with the race logo, available in the size of your choice. Women’s hoodies this year were maroon, and men’s all black. Not going to lie, part of the reason I love to race is earning such goodies: race tees, jackets, “hardware” (finisher’s medal), etc.

My friends Jamie, Yoli, Trish, and Cate came over from the Western Slope the day before. Me, Jamie, and Yoli ran the 5k, while Cate, Trish, and her daughter, Kale, ran the 15k. For Denver, the race starts and finishes at Civic Park, situated directly between the Denver City and County Building and the Capitol Building.

The 5k started promptly at 7:00 am; it was brisk outside as we waited at the event grounds, plenty of people already milling about. With so many thousands of runners, both races have a “wave” or staggered start: you are grouped according to your expected pace/ finish time. As start time approached, the announcer began having racers line up in their respective corrals. I was in Corral A, the first group, Jamie and Yoli a few corrals back.

Getting ready to run the 5k. Photo courtesy of Jamie C.
Ready to run! Photo courtesy of Jamie C.

We wished each other good luck, and agreed to meet at the event tent to receive our hot chocolate. After waiting in the cold, everyone was eager to get moving. Wearing my Hot Chocolate hoodie like many others, I checked that my earbuds were in place, phone securely stowed away, and that all my pockets were zipped. As I have at several other races, I wore my trusty Ariat hat with the thunderbird logo.

The announcer called start for Corral A, and we were off. Like a river, all of us racers surged forward to cheers and encouragement from the spectators. The course immediately veered northwest onto 14th and 15th streets, and runners began to fan out. Running at a snappy pace, I didn’t bother with looking at my Fitbit. So when I saw they had a clock at mile marker 1 on 15th, I surprised myself in that I was running at a 7:22 pace.  On training runs my splits range from 9-10 min; I never run that fast on my own (then again, I run a lot of hills; this course is very flat). But come race day, I want to keep pace with the competition.

The course verged briefly onto Wazee, before continuing on Walnut. At mile markers 2 and 3, my splits were several seconds longer than my first mile, but I was still maintaining a good pace. As the streets had been shut down for the run, the city felt surprisingly empty. Skyscrapers loomed above. I passed several “sweet stations” but felt no need to stop by. Soon they were very few runners around me as I continued to pass a few people. I was breathing hard but my legs felt good; it was my upper abs that began to burn from my efforts.

Course map from https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/denver/course

The course looped through 22nd and Arapaho before turning onto Broadway. I’ll admit I hadn’t really looked at the course map beforehand, so mid-race I was wondering what the homestretch was. I passed a few others, and was ready to let loose my half mile sprint to finish strong. Passing the stately Brown Palace to my right, I suddenly saw it: the finish line. Digging deep, I sprinted by one or two other runners.

I saw the clock ahead and immediately felt bummed that I had finished just over 23 minutes; BUT that was gun time, not chip time, I would only realize later. From my race pictures, you can say I have game face on:

And was I pleasantly surprised, and more than pleased, when I saw my results: 45th overall finisher of over 4500 runners, 9th female finisher, and… 1st place in my age division, females aged 25-29! This is the best 5k I have ever run, at a 7:23 pace, with a time of 22:55. I definitely had the “runner’s high” for the rest of the day. 🙂 I feel like my training is paying off, and I am more than excited for my upcoming marathon in November! Stay tuned for more updates about that… 🙂

Immediately after I finished, I walked for a bit to cool down. Still breathing hard, I didn’t feel nauseous but food did not sound appetizing at the moment. Wandering around, legs now burning,  I went to the tent where racers received their mug of hot chocolate and goodies. A few minutes later, Jamie and Yoli rejoined me, having finished at 34:54 and 38:04, respectively: nice job ladies, proud of you! 😀

Go Jamie!
Go Yoli whoot whoot!

Feeling tired but triumphant, we camped out on the park sidewalk to savor our hot chocolate. Sitting in the middle of the blue mug, the drink was surrounded by several compartments, one filled with chocolate fondue, the others filled with pretzels, a banana, and chocolate straws.

Hot chocolate selfie.

Ad yes, that hot chocolate was delicious. The fondue was amazing too—except it solidified pretty quick in the cold weather.

Reward for running 🙂 Photo courtesy of Jamie C.
Show off that hot chocolate. Photo courtesy of Yoli H.
Yummy! Photo courtesy of Cate W.

After enjoying our post race goodies, I had to leave for work, so I was unable to stay for the rest of the event. Luckily, I saw Cate, Trish, and Kale right before the start of the 15k at 7:50 am, the course for this distance looping further north then east. I was able to wish them luck and have fun! The ladies had a great race, with Cate finishing in 1:43; the mother-daughter team of Trish and Kale finished at 1:48:56, putting them ahead of their goal of a 12 min. pace. Plus, it was Kale’s first race: quite impressive! Well done ladies, very proud of you! You all earned that awesome medal. (photo further below)

15k ladies Kale, Trish, and Cate! Congrats on a job well done 🙂 Photo courtesy of Cate W.

Mom and daughter did amazing! Photos courtesy of Trish W.

15k finisher medal looks sweet! Literally. Photo courtesy of Trish W.

The Hot Chocolate Race Series is a truly fun—and tasty—event. Whether you’re an avid runner looking to PR, a newbie to running, or wanting to run with friends and family, I highly recommend this race. With two distances to choose from, you can push yourself. I am so happy and thankful to my wonderful friends for visiting and getting me involved in this run. I am also very impressed and pleased with your training and dedication: it paid off! But most important: we ladies all had fun. And, we got to have hot chocolate. You run AND are rewarded with hot chocolate? That’s a win in my book—or blog, rather. 😉

~LMC

You sure this isn’t really chocolate? Looks too real! Photo courtesy of Cate W.

*I would like to thank my friends Jamie, Yoli, Cate, and Trish for graciously contributing your photos to this post 😀

*Featured image courtesy of Jamie C.

I did it! 🙂 Photo courtesy of Trish W.

Fall Musings…

Happy Autumnal Equinox…

Ochres, reds, yellow patchwork on the foothills. Immaculate blue sky. Too perfect. Orchestra of crickets every evening. Smoke tinged air. The winding down of the past verdant season. That strange, yet almost comforting in some sense, melancholy in the air. The days shorten, the shadows lengthen. Pumpkins appear, adorn porches. Break out the long sleeves, fleece jackets. But no need, certainly not this September, to retire shorts and tees. Summer still finds its hold in the afternoon heat.

Run up the foothills, observe the sharpness of color contrasts: evergreens amongst the gold aspens. Stroll along a creek, beneath the kingly canopy of ancient trees. A line from Edward Abbey, from his “Sonnet for Everett Ruess,” springs to mind:

“Gold coin of cottonwoods, the spangled shade…”

Could not be more true. Simple and concrete.

The hills have long since faded from emerald to honey. Fall, with the lower temps and dimming days, the prologue to winter, the guarantee of coming cold: warmth. This is what comes to mind. The warmth of the play of colors on nature’s grand stage. The cool, blue-gray tones are reserved for winter. For now, the last warmth stays. Indian summer. Fading daylight, cooler air makes chlorophyll break down. Horses transform from summer sleek to fall fuzzy. Nostalgia appears. I remember my horse, this time three years ago, as he stood at the tie rail just before the sun dipped. He was getting furrier for the coming winter. It was a quiet day at the barn, save for the cricket or two chirping in the creek side brush. I drank in the sight of him, so relaxed, peaceful. Ears forward, alert. His chestnut coat outlined in gold. A benevolent shaft of sunlight touching his face, his velvet nose. The only indication of his age then was his sway back. I miss him.

Flash: September 2015

Fall is nostalgic. It is a season of both beauty and melancholy. Jim Carrier, in his foreword to photographer John Fielder’s book A Colorado Autumn, says it best: “There is nothing so sweet or sad as a country road in autumn. Nothing that invites us more to enter into beauty. Nothing else tugs so strongly at life that is temporal.” I think of Flash. The tie post is now vacant.

Another line: “The sun angle, the reds and yellows, shadows that give the landscape texture. Still, it is more feel than image, mood over reason.” Yes. There is a different emotion to fall. Summer grants the land vibrant texture as well, but the autumnal landscape is somehow more poignant. Herein is the reason: “Autumn is yang and yin […] Warm days, cold nights, the contrast of snow and grass. The harmony of opposites. That is how we best see, in polarity, life and death—the dualism by which we understand.”

Experiencing true four seasons lays out this dualism, and Colorado is the prime stage. I find it hard to imagine that in just a few weeks, the trees will be bare, the hills brown. Yet I know that this change is inevitable, that I’ve seen it countless times. I love summer, I’m a sun child, yet I appreciate all the seasons. But there is something sublime about fall. Words can almost capture it. Almost. Until the raw beauty of winter hits, I’ll continue to observe and enjoy autumn playing out on Colorado’s foothills—and remembering my beautiful horse silhouetted against the multicolored foliage, a golden image in a golden season.

~LMC

 

Saucony Xodus ISO 3 Demo/ First Impression

When you’re a running addict, you become more interested (read: obsessed) in finding the right shoe…or shoes, depending on the terrain and distance you run. The other morning I demoed the women’s Saucony Xodus ISO 3, a trail running shoe.

Road v. Trail Shoes

The main difference between road versus trail running shoes is that the latter have a more aggressive outsole, or tread. With lugs varying in shape, size, and placement, trail running shoes essentially provide better traction, durability and protection on dirt and rocky surfaces. Many, but not all, trail shoes have a rock plate, a carbon or plastic layer embedded in the midsole to provide additional protection for the feet. You can run in road shoes on a trail, granted that the terrain is not technical (ie, very rocky or slick), but you won’t have the same traction, or protection to keep your feet from being bruised by rocks. Plus, the shoe will wear faster than on a road surface. With these factors, this is where it is especially nice to break out a trail shoe.

Specs

The Xodus ISO 3 is a moderately cushioned trail running shoe with an aggressive outsole; the tread has what I call “bite,” with very visible lugs. The midsole is composed of EverRun, Saucony’s cushioning system. There is no rock plate in this shoe, as the overall 24.5 mm thickness of the midsole provides plenty of underfoot protection.The drop, or difference from heel to toe height is only 4 mm; this will certainly appeal to those looking for a more natural structured shoe. I find that the lower the drop, or less heel elevation, the less I heel strike. The weight of the Xodus as a pair is 11.5 oz, not a super light weight shoe being trail, but certainly lighter than my Salomon Speedcross 4 . My go to trail shoes, the Speedcross weigh in at 1 lb 2 oz., have extremely aggressive large lugs, and much less cushion.

The lacing system is the ISO fit, in that the eyelets are placed on a finger like design; refer to photos. According to Saucony’s website, the ISO lacing is a “revolutionary fit system that morphs to the foot for a custom feel.”

Demo Location

I took these shoes for a spin at Hildebrand Ranch Park, by the Dakota Hogback southwest of Denver. I did about 4 mile loop on the Two Brands Trail. Departing from the trail head parking lot, the route is mostly single track cutting through fields. Adjacent to the Trailmark neighborhood, parts of the trail turn into a wide, maintained dirt path. The trail then loops back to the single track. There are some slight hills, but no strenuous climbs. Overall elevation is about 6,000 ft.

First Impression

Upon putting on the shoes, I noted how there is no traditional split tongue. Rather, the shoe is like a glove in that it hugs, with no tongue to worry about moving or being displaced while running. When it comes to overall fit around the toe, I prefer a wider toe box, to allow room for swelling and toe splay. The Xodus ISO 3 fulfills this requirement nicely. Size wise, the shoe seems to fit true. I wore my normal size, women’s 8.5, and my toes did not feel cramped at all. Regarding the arch, I have higher arches, and would have liked a bit more support underneath. The heel cuff felt snug without being uncomfortable, and I did not experience any heel slip once running. As for the ISO lacing, the laces snugged up nicely and did not bunch up or crease the upper strangely.

Out on the trail, I had more than enough traction. Two Brands trail is not technical at all, as it mostly packed dirt. I could easily have ran with road shoes, to be honest. Still, I appreciated the extra grip, more so on the slight uphills. With the lower drop, I could feel myself running with more a midfoot strike, which is more much natural than heel striking.

The shoe felt cushioned without being overly plush. Trail shoes are neutral, or that they are unstructured; they will not provide true correction for overpronation, or ankles rolling inward. Given the nature of trail running, as you dodge and jump over obstacles, your ankles will be moving any which way. My ankles, particularly my left, roll in a lot, but I still felt this shoe provided a decent amount of support, even on my left foot. The midsole is firm enough to encourage my wayward ankles to stabilize somewhat.

Comfort wise, this shoe was a enjoyable ride. It wasn’t a super long run to really test out whether there would be chafing or pressure point issues, but for the four miles I never experienced any discomfort. I do wish this shoe hugged just a tad bit more in the midfoot, like my narrower fitting Speedcross do, to provide a feeling of additional security and custom fit. To fix the lack of arch support in the Xodus, one could easily place an insert that better matches the arches.

 

 

Final Thoughts

Saucony Xodus ISO 3 is a great shoe for those looking for a middle cushion trail running shoe with aggressive tread. If you have a wider foot or just prefer a roomier fit, try this shoe! I can easily see this shoe being used as a hiking shoe (I use trail shoes all the time for hiking). With the grippy outsole, these shoes can certainly tackle rocky and wet terrain. And for those looking for a minimal drop without having to commit to zero drop, this shoe is a good start.

So, the final questions are: would I run in these again and recommend them to a friend? Yes  and yes! Plus, looks wise, I love the color of the women’s Xodus! Such a stunning teal color. The other color available is a dark silver with yellow accents. The men’s version is available in olive green, and also in black with yellow accents. This shoe retails at $150, which for the comfort, cushion, toe box room, and tread, is worth it.

~LMC

*Disclaimer: I am in no way sponsored, paid by, or affiliated with the brands/ items reviewed in this post. I write simply to inform other runners like myself of products that may interest them. 🙂

FLASH’S FINAL GIFT

Fuzzy, it’s been a year since your passing. I miss you. How time flies. Such a cliché. But so true. I remember that final day so clearly, so vividly, I remember what I was wearing. How I woke up that morning, my body feeling simultaneously heavy and light. How I stared back at my face in the bathroom mirror, skin pale, a drawn look. Me, rasping out at my own reflection, “God, give me the strength to see this day through.”

And the thing is…I did. For you see, Flash, your final, parting gift to me was PEACE. That morning I had prayed, kneeling in the grass while you ate your last meal, for strength, and for a sign that your spirit would be at peace; that you were going to be alright. I drank in the sight of you: a calm and content horse munching away, in our beloved little valley in the foothills. My first home and your final home. That last morning, I was so painfully and blessedly present, that every sense was heightened: vision brighter, scents sharper, sounds louder. When it was finally time, I chose not to watch; I did not want, nor need, to see the absolute end. I wanted to remember you standing. Happy. Ears alert. I did not want to see the literal, final, devastating result. I said my final words to you, wished you god speed, kissed you hard on your furry face. Tore myself away, started walking. Looked once, then twice over my shoulder. Saw the vet wielding the first syringe. Snapped my head back forward. Marched into the small barn office. Felt despair. Resignation. Then: lightness. A force pulling me upwards from the couch, and toward your pasture. And as I walked out into the sun light, I felt PEACE. And I knew you were ok. That your spirit was no longer part of your failing body. That the transition was and is of itself, peace.

Tears were still cascading, but were no longer of dread. No, the opposite in fact: serenity. Any and every synonym for the word peace: I felt this. You were free. I was alright. I was going to be ok. Of course I will always miss you. But I know you are in my soul. I felt it that morning. I feel it now.

Make of this what you will: religiosity, spiritual mumbo jumbo, a plain desperate yearning for relief. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Skeptic or believer, the absolute calm that I felt was real. I still feel it. Whether God/ Creator/ It/ Whoever heard me, or rather I found the strength within myself and answered my own prayer: it doesn’t matter. In the end, I attribute the peace I felt and forever feel to Flash. The love and friendship we shared: death does not that change that. I said so in my parting words to him. Death cannot take that away. The memories are mine forever. No one can take them. As is the tranquility I feel. I have no regrets regarding our final time together. That final summer lives on. As does your legacy of love and happiness and caring, my furry friend. And so Flash, my beloved Fuzzy, I say once again: THANK YOU. I miss you and I love you forever.

~LMC

JUSTIFY!!!

Today is a glorious day, for we have a new TRIPLE CROWN WINNER!

It’s not everyday, or even every decade, you get a Triple Crown winner, ie., a thoroughbred race horse to consecutively win the three crown jewels in American thoroughbred racing: the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes. Including today’s winner, there have only been 13 Triple Crown winners. The last of the 70’s superstars won in 1978, and then ensued a nearly 40 years long drought.

I love horses, so it comes as no surprise that today’s win is viewed with great reverence. Until the 2015 triumph of American Pharoah (yep, his name is a misspelling), the first Triple Crown winner in 37 years, I’d begun to wonder if there’d be any TC winners in my lifetime…and if so, when? In 2015, I vividly remember watching the deciding race, the Belmont Stakes, while exercising on the elliptical. As American Pharoah flew down the homestretch, I knew there was no doubt, and when he crossed under the wire, I started hollering like none other. Funnily enough, that day the cardio room was empty save for me, though I’m certain a few people nearby heard my celebratory whoops.

Today I didn’t have the luck to witness the Belmont Stakes live, for I was at work. When I came home I watched the recorded race, and my Dad and I marveled at just how fluid Justify’s movement is. In the parlance of tennis obsessed freaks, father and daughter agreed that the brilliant chestnut stallion is “Federesque:” his effortless athleticism akin to the graceful movement of tennis playing great, Roger Federer. Both the horse and human athletes display efficient movement and prowess. Comparing Justify’s stride against the other horses, he flew while his opponents pummeled and strained over the track.

Any Triple Crown win is special, but this one more so as Justify’s jockey, Mike Smith, is the oldest jockey to ever claim a Triple Crown, at 52. From the brief pre and post race interviews alone it is easy to see just how much Mike loves his sport; he exudes enthusiasm and true passion. And as for Justify: he reminds of me of my beloved horse Flash, both in appearance and demeanor. Though he is taller than Flash, his calm behavior on and off the course are so much like my boy. The blaze and the eyes are also very reminiscent of my beloved horse…

And so, a very hearty congratulations to both horse and jockey! Justify, I would give you an apple if I could. 🙂

~LMC