Remembering my horse on what would have been his 31st birthday. 💖 Here are verses I wrote in 2018:
Velvet nose
Dark eyes glow
Sun burnished coat
My childhood friend
My heart
My home.
Thank you for kindness
Taught by sloppy kisses,
Playful nuzzles,
Waiting at the gate.
Thank you for understanding:
Patience as I try to saddle you
Groom you, feed you, untack you.
As I nurture you, you nurture me.
Thank you for knowledge:
A furry sage, a wise teacher
Imbuing your lessons of life
With gentle eyes, carefree
snorts, the perfect flying
lead change on command.
Your love knows no corral,
Your arena is love:
Unconditional
Soul sustaining, fulfilling.
Rest well, beautiful friend:
Thank you for seeing me
through,
Not to the end,
but to the beginning
of light,
a blank slate, a new page
to create.
Forever friends, death cannot
bend.
On a new plane of place
you await,
Healthy, sleek, at peace,
for the friend,
for the girl,
who was
who is
and will forever be
YOUR whole world:
and as you were mine.
~LMC
Thirty years ago today my beloved horse Flash, “Fuzzy,” was born. He was foaled in Tennessee, lived the first half of his life in Oklahoma, then lived out the rest of his years in Colorado. I knew him from 2003 till his passing in 2017. His birthday, on Cinco de Mayo, I always celebrated, by giving him plenty of treats covered in molasses. To remember my friend today, below is the transcript of a commemorative speech I gave in March 2012, for Speech Class. Reading this piece for the first time in years, everything I wrote still rings true…Miss ya Fuzzy.
—–
My “boyfriend” is a cute brunette with big dark eyes, is outdoorsy and enjoys running. He has been a vegetarian for all of his 23 years, has never gone to school and weighs, oh about, 1200 pounds…This “boyfriend” I talk about is my horse Flash, and today I will speak about my furry friend that I have known for nearly a decade. This horse, Fuzzy, as I also call him, deserves to be praised as he has truly been a great friend.
I first met Flash in 2003, the year I began riding him, and received full ownership of him in 2005. Right away, I knew how well behaved he was, (and still is), and he truly helped me improve my riding skills. Any excuse to be at the barn, I took. I brushed him, washed him, and gave him way too many treats, all of which I still do today. He is the best friend a girl can have, as I have told him all of my secrets and fleeting crushes, and he has never told anyone (to any humans, at least). He never talks back, which is nice, especially when I went through the awkward tween phase, to the “I just noticed boys” phase, etc. So, as you can see, having a furry companion like him is very comforting.
The first blue ribbon I ever won, the most exciting trail rides I ever experienced, are because of Flash. I love to introduce my equine pal to all my friends, and I always enjoy the look of awe they get when they first look him in the eyes. I know 100% that Flash enjoys this too as he is the most sociable, friendly pony; he is kinder than most humans, I can say. All the superficial worries I have, always melt away when I’m with him, especially when I go for a ride. If you’ve ever ridden a horse while they gallop, then you know the sense of freedom, the adrenaline rush you get as hear the rhythmic clatter of their hooves and feel the wind whip your hair back…Some of the best days of my life have been with Flash, and I’ll remember these times till the very day I die…
Being at the barn with Flash is the essence of my childhood. I have always said, a barn is a good place to grow up. Horses teach you responsibility, make you focus and reveal what true relaxation is. They teach you to live in the moment, to live in the present. So, what better babysitter than a horse? For the next few summers that followed 2003, we rode almost three times a week, until high school really started to crunch down on my riding time. Despite that, Flash and I have maintained a bond that has never weakened. Even though I am away at college right now, I know that Fuzzy is in good hands, as my parents dote on him as if he was their other child. Plus, I know that Flash is providing the next generation of kids with his company, and is helping such youngsters familiarize themselves with equine etiquette and riding finesse. In truth, Flash has helped “raise” many kids throughout his lifetime, and I am grateful to know such a fine creature. Animals, especially horses, are a positive influence and help humans really appreciate the finer qualities in life: responsibility, humility, hard work, and best of all, friendship. So, girls, if you want a drama free guy, then hanging out with a horse is the way to go!
February 14, 2005 will forever be my favorite Valentine’s Day. But initially, it didn’t start out that well…
Twelve year old me had a horrible head cold that winter day, so I didn’t go to school. Sprawled on my bed, feeling miserable, I was surprised when my parents asked—rather insisted—that I go down to the barn with them to see Flash, the horse I was riding and taking care of.
Summer 2003
In 2003, my Mom’s tennis teammate, Joanna, owned and boarded Flash at the barn right near where I lived. I’d been visiting that barn since my earliest days, and when I was nine I started taking horse back riding lessons there. When Joanna heard that I loved horses and was an avid rider, she expressed her interest in leasing out Flash to me, as she wanted him exercised more often. My Dad and I considered this offer and decided it was the perfect deal: I’d be able to ride more outside of lessons, and gain valuable experience about caring for an equine.
Soon afterwards my Dad and I visited the barn to meet Flash for the first time. At the pasture adjacent to the barn office, we spotted him: gleaming chestnut coat, white blaze. He approached us and I gave him a treat. Looking into his soulful eyes, by far the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in a horse, I was struck by his kind demeanor and patience. Dad and I approved.
Summer 2003: First encounter
The lease agreement dictated I ride on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On those days, I would go straight from school to the barn to tack up, ride and care for Flash. He was a patient teacher, always considerate. Together we made a great team, and it showed in the slew of first and second place ribbons we won at the local schooling shows; we dominated Advanced Western Equitation for a few summers. Flash may not have been officially “my” horse, but he certainly felt like it.
That particular Valentine’s Day, I wanted to see Flash, but I felt too wretched to go. But my parents kept pressing, so along I went. It was a sunny day, and a short walk–just 3/4 of a mile–but it felt longer, as my temples ached, and my stuffy nose throbbed. Upon approaching Flash’s pasture, I immediately saw him, wearing a bright red ribbon around his neck. How cute, was my bemused thought. We opened the gate and went inside, standing beside him as he greedily stuffed his face with hay. I stroked his neck and mane, admiring the fuzziness of his winter coat. I fed him some treats. Then my Dad handed me a red envelope addressed to me, “Leah Marie.” My parents had the biggest smiles on their faces as I opened the card, which had on its front a photo of a horse that looked like Flash.
How cute!
Inside the card read:
I chuckled, thinking again, Oh how cute. That was nice. Can I go home and sleep now? I smiled, replied, “Thank you guys, this all was very sweet.” My parents exchanged a look, then Mom resumed her gaze at me as she raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t you understand what it means? You know, ‘Be Mine’?”
I still wasn’t catching on. She paused for effect.
“Leah, ‘Be Mine,’ means that…Flash is now officially your horse.”
Valentine’s Day 2005
I nearly dropped the card onto the frozen February mud. Every cliché—jaw dropped, dumbstruck—applied to me that moment. Tears sprung to my eyes as I fully (and finally!) absorbed what I’d just heard. Flash: mine? I flung my arms around “Fuzzy” and gave him a big kiss, while exclaiming “Thank you!” a dozen times. I then gave Flash several more treats.
“Don’t just thank us. Thank Joanna,” my parents were quick to point out. They then explained that Joanna had decided to transfer ownership to us. She saw how happy Flash was with me, and vice-versa, and was assured he would be in good hands. I am forever grateful to her, and to my Mom and Dad; if it were not for their interest, support, and generosity, Flash would not have been part of my life. And that is unthinkable, now as I look back at the 15 wonderful years we had together. As I wrote in my eulogy for him, Flash is my childhood. And what a freakishly happy and fun childhood it was. A barn is a wonderful place to grow up, and horses the best mentors.
The rest of the day it was as if I had been miraculously cured of my cold. I felt so happy I was floating, a permanent smile on my face. I was already bursting to tell my friends the wonderful news. Back home, on the small dry erase board above my bed, I proclaimed in all caps:
FLASH IS NOW MINE!
He will forever be my best valentine. I love him, and I miss him. I wish he were still here. He is in my heart. Thank you Mom, Dad, and Joanna for the way you planned to reveal that news to me on none other than Valentine’s Day. Can’t be beat.
Today is a glorious day, for we have a new TRIPLE CROWN WINNER!
It’s not everyday, or even every decade, you get a Triple Crown winner, ie., a thoroughbred race horse to consecutively win the three crown jewels in American thoroughbred racing: the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes. Including today’s winner, there have only been 13 Triple Crown winners. The last of the 70’s superstars won in 1978, and then ensued a nearly 40 years long drought.
A Special Win
I love horses, so it comes as no surprise that today’s win is viewed with great reverence. Until the 2015 triumph of American Pharoah (yep, his name is a misspelling), the first Triple Crown winner in 37 years, I’d begun to wonder if there’d be any TC winners in my lifetime…and if so, when? In 2015, I vividly remember watching the deciding race, the Belmont Stakes, while exercising on the elliptical. As American Pharoah flew down the homestretch, I knew there was no doubt, and when he crossed under the wire, I started hollering like none other. Funnily enough, that day the cardio room was empty save for me, though I’m certain a few people nearby heard my celebratory whoops.
Today I didn’t have the luck to witness the Belmont Stakes live, for I was at work. When I came home I watched the recorded race, and my Dad and I marveled at just how fluid Justify’s movement is. In the parlance of tennis obsessed freaks, father and daughter agreed that the brilliant chestnut stallion is “Federesque:” his effortless athleticism akin to the graceful movement of tennis playing great, Roger Federer. Both the horse and human athletes display efficient movement and prowess. Comparing Justify’s stride against the other horses, he flew while his opponents pummeled and strained over the track.
Mike Smith: A Talented Jockey
Any Triple Crown win is special, but this one more so as Justify’s jockey, Mike Smith, is the oldest jockey to ever claim a Triple Crown, at 52. From the brief pre and post race interviews alone it is easy to see just how much Mike loves his sport; he exudes enthusiasm and true passion. And as for Justify: he reminds of me of my beloved horse Flash, both in appearance and demeanor. Though he is taller than Flash, his calm behavior on and off the course are so much like my boy. The blaze and the eyes are also very reminiscent of my beloved horse…
And so, a very hearty congratulations to both horse and jockey! Justify, I would give you an apple if I could. 🙂
Yesterday I went to visit my boy. He’s up in the mountains resting peacefully “where the buffalo roam.” This is not an exaggeration. A small herd of bison actually do live in the large meadow where he slumbers. Not only that, but three white buffalo, extremely rare creatures and a scared symbol for the plains Indians, are among those safeguarding the final resting places of Fuzzy and so many other beloved equines. Visiting this place brings me great comfort and peace. I couldn’t dream of a better place for my dear friend to be; it is so beautiful and serene. We do not know the exact spot where he rests, but using binoculars my parents and I scanned the field and found some spots that appear like freshly churned earth. There is one spot in particular by the lake that borders the fence that looks especially fresh. Right in front of us, the entire herd passed this spot on their way to drink and cool off in the water…I’d like to think this is the spot where Fuzzy sleeps…Regardless, his spirit now runs free amongst the buffalo.
Keeping with the nouns that start with “r” theme, one of the descriptions of myself in this blog I use is “Rider” as in horseback rider. I love horses. They are a part of my life. I want to share this piece I wrote two months ago…
FLASH
“When your horse follows you without being asked, when he rubs his head on yours, and when you look at him and feel a tingle down your spine…you know you are loved.” –John Lyons
Flash—Flashykins, FlashBash, Fuzzball, Super Flashy, most beloved, beautiful, kind Fuzzy—I love you, my sweet, furry chestnut boy. And I want to thank you. For everything. From the way you always trotted up to the gate whenever you saw me, to your patience and understanding as I learned to ride, to how you would always nudge me with your velvet nose, you were always there for me. When I say I had a ridiculously happy childhood, I’m not kidding. You’re one of the integral reasons why. I was 11 when I first met you, a bespectacled, gap-toothed kid. At 25, the glasses and the gap are gone, but my adoration and love for you remain constant as ever.
You had the kindest, most soulful and beautiful eyes of any horse I have ever seen. I mean it. Looking into your eyes felt like looking into your very soul. The bond we forged and will always have lives in the very core of my being, and is part of the legacy of your long and marvelous life. I remember winning our 1st blue ribbon together like it was yesterday. Your patience and compassion towards everyone, especially with young children, cannot be surpassed. I will always remember your days with Picnic with the Ponies, the way you would tenderly baby the kids you were carrying on your back. I can’t even begin to count how many people your kindness of heart and gentle spirit touched. You brought everyone together, from the most experienced horsemen to individuals who’d never been around horses, and made each and every one of us laugh and smile. Last night was a prime example of that.
I’ll miss seeing you waiting at the gate, so excited to see me that you’d be pacing around and tossing your head, like a little kid. I’ll miss being able to brush your coat which felt like suede, or braiding your mane and tail with Miss Madeline. I’ll miss leading you around the arena with a youngster aboard, showing them they have nothing to fear. I’ll miss slipping onto your back to ride the smoothest lope. I’ll miss riding in the warm summer rain. I’ll miss watching you toss hay into the air and knocking over your feed bucket, you were quite the messy eater! I’ll miss the way you always managed to slobber me with your nose, and the way you’d lick my hands and arms like a dog. There was no walking away from the barn with clean clothes, no sir! I’ll miss talking to you, how you’d direct one furry ear my way, hearing what I had to say with no judgement. And I’ll certainly miss the nighttime escapades we had at the barn these past weeks, watching you roam around the equestrian center, no lead rope needed, with Basil the barn cat and the Rascals (barn raccoon family) close by. It was peaceful to see you so happy just cruising around, day or night, stopping to say hi to whoever crossed your path. This last summer with you is a gift I will cherish forever. This, and so many other memories, will stay with me to my dying day.
To those who made Flash possible in our lives: thank you. Joanna: it is because of your kindness and generosity that Flash came into my life. You sure found a gem in Flash, an incredible and freakishly intelligent equine! I cannot thank you enough.
Dionne: you truly took my riding skills to the next level (and beyond) with your patience and dedication, and my memories of our riding lessons and Picnic with the Ponies summers with Flash will stay with me forever.
C. Family: Flash and my family are so lucky to know such a wonderful and loving family. It makes me so happy to know Flash became friends with and was looked after in his golden years by a compassionate girl, Madeline, and her equally kind mom, Elizabeth. Thank you for the care you lovingly spoiled my boy with; know he is very grateful in return.
And last, but certainly not least:
Mom, Dad: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. For everything. You made horses happen in my life, and I am forever grateful. Dad: thank you for helping me tack up Flash when I was too little to lift the saddle up, and for watching me ride. Mom: like Spencer said, you are “Flash’s Mom.” Knowing you had no background with horses, it was so incredible and special for me to see you bond with Flash. It is because of your guys’ continual support, encouragement, and love that we all have come to be blessed with knowing the friendly, beautiful, patient and kind spirit that is FLASH, our beloved FUZZY, which leads me to finally say:
We are all so honored for having known you Fuzzy. The happiness, joy, memories, and fun you brought to us all is your legacy, as is your pure heart and soul. You are and shall always be an integral part of my life and my very identity, Fuzzy. Eternal thanks and kisses, my friend. You shall forever be my bestest, furriest, fuzziest friend! As Elizabeth wrote, “I have known several horses in my life, but none as well or as deeply as you.” It is the same for me, also. You didn’t just teach me how to ride: you taught us all patience and kindness with your pure character, too. Run free in Heaven my friend, where there are no fences, no gates, no corrals, no pens: you are free to wander wherever you please and eat the sweetest grass. You are my childhood, and your spirit resides in my heart and soul forever. Thank you for 15 wonderful years together. I love you Fuzzy.
