JUSTIFY!!!

Today is a glorious day, for we have a new TRIPLE CROWN WINNER!

It’s not everyday, or even every decade, you get a Triple Crown winner, ie., a thoroughbred race horse to consecutively win the three crown jewels in American thoroughbred racing: the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes. Including today’s winner, there have only been 13 Triple Crown winners. The last of the 70’s superstars won in 1978, and then ensued a nearly 40 years long drought.

I love horses, so it comes as no surprise that today’s win is viewed with great reverence. Until the 2015 triumph of American Pharoah (yep, his name is a misspelling), the first Triple Crown winner in 37 years, I’d begun to wonder if there’d be any TC winners in my lifetime…and if so, when? In 2015, I vividly remember watching the deciding race, the Belmont Stakes, while exercising on the elliptical. As American Pharoah flew down the homestretch, I knew there was no doubt, and when he crossed under the wire, I started hollering like none other. Funnily enough, that day the cardio room was empty save for me, though I’m certain a few people nearby heard my celebratory whoops.

Today I didn’t have the luck to witness the Belmont Stakes live, for I was at work. When I came home I watched the recorded race, and my Dad and I marveled at just how fluid Justify’s movement is. In the parlance of tennis obsessed freaks, father and daughter agreed that the brilliant chestnut stallion is “Federesque:” his effortless athleticism akin to the graceful movement of tennis playing great, Roger Federer. Both the horse and human athletes display efficient movement and prowess. Comparing Justify’s stride against the other horses, he flew while his opponents pummeled and strained over the track.

Any Triple Crown win is special, but this one more so as Justify’s jockey, Mike Smith, is the oldest jockey to ever claim a Triple Crown, at 52. From the brief pre and post race interviews alone it is easy to see just how much Mike loves his sport; he exudes enthusiasm and true passion. And as for Justify: he reminds of me of my beloved horse Flash, both in appearance and demeanor. Though he is taller than Flash, his calm behavior on and off the course are so much like my boy. The blaze and the eyes are also very reminiscent of my beloved horse…

And so, a very hearty congratulations to both horse and jockey! Justify, I would give you an apple if I could. 🙂

~LMC

 

Missing Fuzzy

Many of you are aware that I lost my horse, Flash, a few months ago. On the day he peacefully passed, I composed what is, in my opinion, the best-written and most heartrending work I’ve ever done. There were tears, yes, as I began writing his tribute within hours of the event, and yet as I wrote, I felt…peace. I still believe I was in some state of shock–the dreadful thing had happened, had come to pass–yet my mind was acting in self-preservation mode, to get things done. Writing is catharsis and writing my beloved Fuzzy’s eulogy proved extremely healing. I wanted to acknowledge every important little detail about the time we spent together, the happy memories made. And of course, the everlasting impressions this equine had not just on me, but on everyone, he knew.

I still, and will forever miss, my best, furriest, fuzziest friend. As I said in my eulogy, “I will miss (insert event/ feeling).” I still catch myself thinking, “I’ll go to the barn,” but then reality strikes quick, and a weight of sadness descends upon me…

BUT:

I take GREAT comfort in knowing that Flash spent his last summer on earth surrounded by family and friends, being spoiled every day with tons of treats and attention. I thought I’d spoiled my horse before but was it tenfold this summer? On top of receiving grain every day, he grazed on the lushest grass and ate carrots and apples smothered in molasses. I let him wander wherever he wanted, as he was always so curious, interested in his surroundings, and making new friends (be it human, equine, feline, or canine). As one of the girls who rode him said, “Flash reminds me of how older folks eat dinner, and then afterward go on a walk.” That was exactly it. As soon as he’d finished inhaling the last bit of feed, he’d start wandering somewhere, usually over to the “Hay Buffet” (the hay trolley), or to a patch of verdant grass. I’d follow him around, and it was both amusing and heartwarming to observe his wanderings. If he crossed paths with someone, he’d stop to say hello, and was often rewarded with kind pats and treats.

I miss my furry equine friend. I miss him every day. Yet in my sadness, there is one feeling absent—agony. I have no remorse, no regret, in choosing the why and how we let him go. Flash was old, 94 in human years (!), and had had a long and very, very happy life.

Choosing when and how to say goodbye to an animal friend is always extremely tough. What made it even more difficult was that Flash was still Flash: the happy, carefree, loving pony I’d always known. Mentally, he was all there. But physically he was declining. My dad and I used to joke that Flash looked like a “middle-aged guy with a gut”–slightly overweight at times, but very healthy. But Flash was shrinking, despite his great appetite. And no matter how much we fed him, nothing worked. Having been diagnosed with Cushing’s disease a few years ago, a disorder in which the pituitary gland overproduces cortisol (stress hormone), it is also possible there may have been tumors in other parts of his body. Regardless, Flash was old, and his time was limited. Mentally alert and intelligent as ever, yet his body was slowly failing. It was only a matter of time before something catastrophic happened: Flash collapsing, too weak to get up, in fear, and in pain.

Despite my constant care, Flash was not going to improve in the end. I couldn’t cure him. In late spring the vet looked him over and decided it was time to make that decision. I cried as she discussed why she thought it best, but I understood. She made it clear I could spend a few more months with my pony and spoil him rotten.

In those last months, I researched euthanasia, which means “kind death.” A form of lethal injection, most vets administer a sedative first so that the animal is made unconscious, unaware of what is happening. The lethal shot follows immediately after, taking less than a minute for the animal to slide from unconsciousness into death. There is no pain at all; it is the kindest, quietest way to go. More than once I’ve heard that euthanasia is the final and ultimate act of love, in choosing to have a beloved creature avoid any suffering.

In the minutes leading up to that final goodbye, my vet, assigned to administer the euthanasia…this makes me cry to write it…hugged me tight as I sobbed my heart out. She said, “Know that you will never have to worry about discovering him in his pasture, injured and in fear. Know you will never have to see him suffer, that he will never have to know pain.”

Somehow, my voice beyond raw, I replied, “He’s lived a long and extremely happy life.”

The vet looked me full in the face. “If only all animals could be so lucky.”

Amen.

-LMC