Book Review: ONE THOUSAND WHITE WOMEN by Jim Fergus

I can’t believe that only just now I read this book. Because wow. Wow! All the genres/ themes I love—historical fiction, first person perspective, strong and most importantly, believable female protagonist—are all present in this novel. Published in 1998, I’ve more than once spotted this novel on bookshelves, yet didn’t pick up a copy till recently.

The novel stems from a highly interesting, yet never came to pass, proposal: in the 1850s, a Northern Cheyenne chief asked US Army authorities the gift of one thousand white women as brides for their warriors. Being a matrilineal based society, in which children belong to their mother’s tribe, the Cheyenne viewed this as the perfect way to assimilate into white society. Unsurprisingly, US authorities abhorred this idea, and no white brides came over. But in this novel, they do.

Told through the fictional diary entries of May Dodd, readers are introduced to a woman considered highly unconventional for 1875. A free spirit, May is banished to an asylum by her own family, for having loved a man beneath her station. When the chance for freedom is offered by participating in the top secret government “Brides for Indians” program, May seizes it. With the goal of “civilizing” the so-called savages, May and many other women in compromised situations find themselves heading west. May chronicles the women she meets, of all backgrounds and color, and of their fears and hopes of marrying and living among the “savages.” For May however, she soon finds herself torn between her love for a dashing US Army captain, and her eventual husband, Chief Little Wolf, leader of the Cheyenne nation. Caught between two worlds, May struggles to navigate two alternate lives, both of which are fraught with devastating consequences.

Highly detailed and emotive, May feels very much like a real character. In fact, I’m still in awe that this novel is written by a man. Fergus captures May’s hopes and fears regarding her children, her disgust with society’s hypocrisy regarding her sexuality, and her love and respect for both US Captain Bourke and Chief Little Wolf, both of whom are actual historical characters. Other characters, such as the street wise Irish Kelly twins, and the steadfast, former slave Phemie, feel real as well. May’s initial bewilderment to eventual acceptance and admiration of Cheyenne culture is well structured, as are all characters’ interactions with one another. Readers stringent in historical/ realistic portrayals may find the fact that May writes such long, detailed entries unrealistic, especially during the novel’s climax, yet one must remember that this is a novel. Like very many other readers, so immersed into the plot and characters was I that I wanted, needed, May to be a real character. Alas, as Fergus clarifies in the “Author’s Note:” “In spite of efforts to convince the reader to the contrary, this book is entirely a work of fiction” (Fergus xiii). Such is the magic of well researched and well executed fiction that readers whole heartedly ingest this novel. If you are looking for “a fresh twist on the traditional Western” (book review via San Antonio Express), I highly recommend this novel.

~LMC

One Thousand White Women: The Journals of May Dodd by Jim Fergus, St. Martin’s Griffin New York, 434 pages

*Postscript: The Vengeance of Mothers, the sequel to One Thousand White Women, has just been published this year. I cannot wait to pick up this book and will write a review once finished reading it.

BIRTHDAY RUN!

It’s my birthday, and I’ll RUN if I want to!!!…

16 miles, that is!

I know what you’re thinking: That I’m crazy! That out of all the ways I choose to celebrate my birthday, I RUN. Yep! And that today I chose to run the longest distance I’ve ever done before. 13.1 just wasn’t gonna do it today; I wanted to, had to, surpass that. Really, I wanted, and still do (and will!) run a marathon, but I didn’t want to injure myself. Everything in good time…

Historically, it usually rains and/ or snows on my birthday; tempestuous CO weather! But today I was gifted with temps in the 70s, and low, puffy white clouds sailing ‘cross azure skies. I had to take advantage of such glorious weather.

My run today was 70% trail, 30% road, up and down, along the foothills and accompanying strike valleys. I didn’t bother concerning myself with splits or time really; distance is what mattered. I kept entertaining the thought of running my first marathon distance, but knew that that was not yet quite feasible…but sometime this year, yes… šŸ˜‰

Plus, I was planning on going out to dinner this evening with family and friends, and such a distance would take too long, since I started my run mid-afternoon…and I would need to clean up once done.

The majority of my run felt great: I was flying. The last four miles are when I felt fatigue settle in. Despite consuming multiple gels and goos, the heat was finally sapping my energy. But I kept at it. My speed slowed, but my determination did not. I sprinted the last half mile, and when I finally slowed to a walk, I was beaming. I was absolutely gross but felt glorious. Sweaty but sublime. A new running milestone, and on my birthday no less. A true present to myself. I was definitely “high” on the “runner’s high.” šŸ™‚

I walked, stretched, cooled down, hopped in the shower. I put on my favorite blue dress, a memento from my trip to Barcelona a few years ago. Running, and exercise in general, gives your face the best glow. I’m serious! If makeup companies could somehow create a potion that mimics the runner’s glow, that company would make millions. My eyes were bright, my skin the perfect combination of tan and flush. It’s weird, given how sweaty (especially after this particular run), I can be after exercise, but it’s often when I feel the most beautiful. I feel strong, empowered, capable of anything.

******

As you can guess, I devoured everything in sight after my run. I went to my favorite Italian restaurant, and promptly replenished all my lost carbs via chicken parmigiana with spaghetti. My Mom, super loving and generous as always, had brought cupcakes from a professional baker, for dessert.

Having my family and family friends surrounding me, well, I’m going to say a total clichĆ©, but…I’m lucky. Blessed. I know, saaaapppy. I won’t bog you down with further, well exhausted clichĆ©s. But truly, you know who you are, and I want to say thank you. I mean it. To everyone who wished me a happy birthday, whether by text, post, card, etc., thank you. šŸ™‚ I love you all.Ā  You all made my day extremely special.

*****

Birthdays are about, well, getting older. But my five year old “former charge” (i.e., the girl I nannyed recently; clearly I read too many historical novels), is convinced that I am 10, and not a twentysomething. I told her my age, but she wouldn’t have it, as she steadfastly declared, “You’re 10! You’re the same size as my friend!”

Everyone at the table laughed. “Well, thank you! This is the best birthday ever! Instead of a year older, I’m more than a decade and a half younger! I can go with this!” I exclaimed, to more laughs. So, I run my longest distance so far and I’m getting younger? Cool. Happy Birthday to me. šŸ™‚

~LMC

My First Ever True Running Shoes: A Total Fluke!

As an avid runner, having the right shoe is paramount. Comfort is key. It blows my mind that I used to run in my actual tennis shoes, which are like bricks: they’re sturdy and have no flexibility or cushion whatsoever. Great for stabilization on the court, for explosive moment and cutting type maneuvers…but for running, not so much.

As I increased my mileage in college during my junior and senior years, I knew I wanted, needed, a true running shoe. I had zero knowledge about actual running shoes, but I knew I needed something much lighter and flexible. As my senior year approached, my answer for running shoes was solved…via my grandma! I was visiting my grandparents for a few days in August 2013, two weeks before classes started. On the second to last day, my awesoma Grama Brenda came into my room holding a shoe box.

“Leah, darling,” she said with her beautiful English accent, “your Grandfather gave these to me for my birthday, but they don’t fit me. Would like to have these if they fit you?” Whereupon she proffered me the box.

Inside was a pair New Balance shoes, of a medium gray color with blue laces and trim. I’d never worn New Balance shoes before, but recognized the brand’s distinct “N” emblazoned on the sides. I quickly laced them on.

Right away I felt the difference: these shoes were flexible, comfy, and best of all, light weight. I knew I’d found an actual shoe for running.

“They’re a perfect fit! Thank you, Grandma,” I exclaimed with a hug. She stepped back and took in the sight of my new shoes. “They look wonderful on you, my dear. Glad to know they’ll be put to use!”

****

And were they ever. With my 2014 resolution to just, well, run more, I wore my New Balance 401s EVERY SINGLE DAY. With them, I practically flew. The difference between them and my tennis shoes was night and day; no longer was I clomping by. As I exponentially increased my mileage and frequency that year (I ran 6-7 days a week, 7-8 miles per run on average), those shoes practically became attached to me. In addition to running, they served as my gym/ strength conditioning shoes. I wore them to class and for walking. Unless I was dressed in my other outfit of t-shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots (Ariat or Justin), you were hard pressed to find me wearing other shoes.

In May 2014, I went to study abroad for a month in Spain, and you guessed it, those shoes came with me. Running along the streets of Barcelona, these shoes provided comfort on the often cobbled pathways and roads. Once back home for the summer, those NB traversed plenty of local trails, as well.

There’s no doubt I wore those shoes waaay past their lifetime. One day in late 2014, they just felt…flat. My feet felt like they were slapping the pavement. The cushion was long gone. I stopped, looked at the underside of one shoe. The tread under the ball of the foot and toes was worn smooth. Setting my foot back on the cement, I noted how my toes, particularly the right foot, had poked holes in the upper mesh of either shoe. They were so bad you could tell what color my socks were. I sighed. “Time for new shoes, I guess,” I muttered, before resuming the rest of my run, my feet noticeably whining, as I brainstormed the where and what for a new shoe…

~LMC

Visiting the Past: Central City Cemeteries, Nevadaville, and Lookout Mountain

I love ghost towns. Old graveyards. Old buildings. Just old, yester-century things.

This love affair with history began from the start: my earliest memories are of my dad and I cruising up into the Rockies to explore old, abandoned mining towns. Bobbing in my car seat as we drove rocky, 4-wheel drive roads, these “ghost towning” adventures gave me the history bug. As my dad propped me in front of an old storefront for pictures, I wondered:Ā  Who had lived here? What did they do? Even at such a young age, I found myself genuinely curious about the history and people of the places we visited: Central City, Tin Cup, Buckskin Joe, Wild Irishman, etc., are just a few examples.

Call me strange, but I especially liked, and still love, visiting old, often abandoned cemeteries. Graveyards never frightened me, even as a toddler. My dad instilled in me that cemeteries were not scary, bad places as other kids my age perceived them. Instead, he emphasized that the individuals resting there had been people just like us, who had lived their lives, and had known triumph and tragedy: in other words, cemeteries were and are to be treated with utter respect. His words are essentially about reflection, as one cannot help but question, when reading headstone inscriptions: Who was this individual? What was their life like? And so often a constant question when visiting older cemeteries: Why and how did they die so young?

I realized it had been quite a while since I’d visited any ghost towns, so up I-70 I went and soon found myself wandering the several cemeteries of Central City. And yes, true “ghost towners” will critique me here in that this town is not a ghost, far from it. Since casinos and gambling took root here in 1991, the area is thriving, albeit in a different manner. As Philip Varney describes in his book Ghost Towns of Colorado, “A ghost town has two characteristics: the population has decreased markedly, and the initial reason for its settlement (such as a mine or a railroad) no longer keeps people there.” Popular though the town may be with tourists and gamblers, it is no longer mining that attracts people to the area. In fact, prior to 1991, Central City and environs was closer to a true “ghost.”

Driving through town, many impressive stone and brick buildings still line the streets, as do restored Victorian “doll house” residences. But seeking the solitude and somber aura of the cemeteries, I drove up the dirt road to where the graveyards lie west of town. Divided into several separate cemeteries, I visited the Catholic, I.O.O.F. Knights of Pythias, and Red Man Lodge plots. Not surprisingly, in the Catholic plot are those of Italian and Irish descent. As with the I.O.O.F and Red Man Lodge plots, these graveyards are the most open with their meadow location. Knights of Pythias, however, is the most eerie, nearly hidden amongst aspens. Visiting in the summer, this plot is stunningly beautiful. But with the trees leafless today, this area had an intense feeling of nostalgia and melancholy.

Catholic Cemetery, Central City

As with all older graveyards, there are so many children’s and infants graves. In the Catholic plot was a single headstone for three children, siblings aged six years and younger. They all perished 1918; I speculate from the great influenza pandemic, but who knows? Families often had not one, but multiple child deaths. And sometimes accompanying these tiny graves, were the graves of the mothers who died in childbirth.

These cemeteries are still in use today. Newer gravestones are present and are often adorned with flowers and mementoes. But it touched my soul to observe several child and adolescent graves decorated with flowers and stuffed animals. These individuals, who died well over a hundred years ago, are still remembered.

Observing the faint inscriptions and designs on these Victoria era headstones, my favorite aspect I saw was a small hand pointing upward to heaven. I understood the significance: focus not below where the body lies but look up to where to the soul resides.

*****

1879 Masonic Lodge, Nevadaville
1879 Masonic Lodge behind me

After my solemn sojourn, I drove southward to Nevadaville. A true ghost town, Nevadaville is a far cry from the bustling place it once was. For a short period in the mid-1800s, the town’s population was bigger than Denver at the time! But eventually the mines closed, residents left, and buildings fell into ruin. On Nevadaville’s Main Street stand several impressive brick buildings, such as the Bald Mountain Trading Post and 1879 Masonic Lodge, both of which are still in use today. For a few minutes I wandered along the street, peering through the windows as all the buildings were closed for the day. Though a few people live in the area, I did not see a single soul: Nevadaville confirms its status as a true “ghost.”

Main Street, Nevadaville

*****

Buffalo Bill’s grave

My final stop was Lookout Mountain, to visit Buffalo Bill’s gravesite. The last time I visited was 2004, so this time I was able to drive there myself. I drove down I-70 and took an exit near the Mother Cabrini Shrine. Winding my way up, I reached the top and first took in the dramatic views from the parking lot: Denver and it’s urban sprawl, and to the north, the Flat Irons. To the west, the Continental Divide beckoned, the snow coloring the peaks with an almost surreal glow. I then walked the short, paved path to the final resting place of William F. Cody, better known as Buffalo Bill. The centennial anniversary of his death was January 2017, and I mused how that is not all that long ago.

One of my favorite idols growing up was Annie Oakley, the female sharpshooter who toured with Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show. Impressed with her sheer talent, Cody hired her and the two remained friends until his death. Recently I re-read Oakley’s tribute to Buffalo Bill written upon his passing and was quite touched by the amount of respect she held for him. Both these individuals were celebrities in their time, and I couldn’t help but think (rather bemusedly) from a millennial viewpoint, that they would’ve had quite the social media following had such media platforms existed then.

Continental Divide, as viewed from Lookout Mt.

*****

My step into the past was brief, but enjoyable. Exploring historic places is one of my all-time favorite things to do. The worries of today fall away as you realize just how rough living conditions were, even one hundred years ago. Yet you gain a sense of appreciation and respect for those who lived long ago, for their tenacity and dedication. If I could time travel, I would. And yet I wonder…if someone from the past visited our time period, what would they think? Ah, the ruminations of a history freak are endless…

Until my next historical adventure,

~LMC

EQUINOXIN’

Happy Day of Equal Light and Dark, or…HAPPY SPRING! Whoot whoot!

Anyways, I confess that I have spring fever: restless and wanting warmer weather (i.e., I WANT SUMMER NOW)! Even Boots the Cat seems to be antsy, too. And yes, she DID attempt to distract me while I was setting up my computer to write, surprise surprise. In fact, I just realized I have CAT HAIR on the key pad, whelp.

~LMC

CURSE THE COMPUTER GODS

Oh sigh, apparently I have displeased the Computer Gods in that my laptop went completely kaput a few days ago. It was the dreaded Blue Screen of Death, the final death knell for my device. I have my phone of course, to keep me connected in this digitized world, but have been unable to write, or rather, typeĀ out posts. And so I undergo a quest to find a new computer! Wish me luck hehe šŸ™‚

~LMC

 

CAT DISTRACTIONS

Great, the cat wants to eat my eyeball too..

All writers knowā€”and despise!ā€”writerā€™s block, the dreaded time when you just canā€™tā€¦write. At all. Or well, at least. But do you have that one distraction that prevents or interrupts your writing? A clingy toddler? A messy room? (got to have your feng shui in order!)

For me, itā€™s my cat. A creature that is the very paragon of feline-ness: pointedly ignores all when you need companionship most, but then protests for attention at the most inconvenient of times. This is Bootsie. She is as far from a dog as you can get.

Initially I was writing a different post but Bootsie made known her need for attention: meowing pitifully at my door, breaking up my writing thoughts. I tried to ignore her. After all, she couldā€™ve cuddled with me when I took a nap this afternoon. I even have her ā€œnest,ā€ or her favorite blanket, all set up at the end of the bed. But nope! Cats choose what they need, when they need it. This is what makes them so human, and why I love them so much (however much they irritate me at times).

Ceding to my catā€™s wishes, I abandoned my initial post and opened the door. She shot in, hopped on her ā€œnest,ā€ and demanded that we CUDDLE RIGHT NOW, B%&$! She saw my lap top and decided for the moment that she wouldnā€™t crawl onto my lap. Normally, I donā€™t mind juggling cat and computer on my lap while surfing the web, but during writing time? NOPE! Whenever I was home from college right before finals week, sheā€™d ALWAYS interrupt my studying: meowing at the door, hogging my desk chair, WALKING and SITTING across the keypad (she nearly deleted one of my essays)!

But tonight, I made known to her that I was going to resume writing, no matter how pissy she got. Unable to resume my other post, I started this one instead. I know it wonā€™t be the last time Bootsie interrupts my writing time. Like my muse, the cat shows at the oddest times. So now it goes I type this sitting against the side of my bed, Bootsie just above my shoulder and purring like a motor boat. Annoying though she may be, Iā€™d like to think sheā€™s cheering, or rather purring, me on. Itā€™s nice to know I have support in my writing endeavors.

And plus…ever since Flash entregar el alma (one of my fave Spanish colloquial phrases; best translation is “gave up the ghost”), Bootsie has been unusually loving and more purry. So thank you Boots. I mean it.

POST SCRIPT: Right when I finished this and got ready to post is when Bootsie decided to make her exit. Figures. Friggin’ felines šŸ˜‰

~LMC

ļŠ

Ran a Half and Happy Birthday Bowie!

It’s a good day: ran 13.1 today AND it’s Bowie’s Birthday!

This is the second time I’ve ran this distance, and both runs were just on my own. I am currently training for an actual half marathon race coming up soon, and I guess I’m ready, much sooner than I thought! It was stunning outside today, t-shirt and shorts weather in January—heck yeah!

Today is what would’ve been Bowie’s 71st birthday. Two years on this very day, Bowie’s album, the critically acclaimed Blackstar came out. Two days later, he was gone. I’m still in a bit of shock that he is no longer on this earthly plane. He truly is a STARMAN now (not that he wasn’t before).

I am a Bowiephile, and I have my Dad to thank for that. šŸ™‚ Ever since I can remember, Bowie has been on constant play in my parent’s house. No joke, when I was a toddler my mom would put a Bowie VHS tape (90s kid hehe) in the VCR, and I’d watch Bowie music vids while she did things around the house, no babysitter required. My fave Bowie VHS tape (we still have it) is Black Tie, White Noise, his ’93 album. I still love that particular Bowie era: he looks so fine in the “They Say Jump” vid. šŸ™‚

I could dedicate this blog to Bowie’s talent and overall aesthetic (I’m sure plenty of those blogs exist), but let me get back on track here. I just want to say Happy Birthday David. We all miss you. And yes, I did listen to your music during my long run today. I often like to finish the last mile or two listening to “V-2 Schneider:” the bass and saxophone in that song are perfection. As is of course, that final guitar riff at the end, and I often sprint during that piece. So thinking of you today, Dave. Thank you for the memories and for literally being the soundtrack of my life (and all my running).

-LMC

New Year’s and Nostalgia

I am a nostalgic person. No doubt about it. You know you are when:

A: You have a beyond freakish tendency to memorize dates. Ask what happened on today or any given date, and I can recite what happened X amount of years ago, easy.

B: You keep track of time, ie; you always recall what happened 6 months ago, a year ago, etc. You see time in a linear fashion.

Yep. I hold memories, good and bad, close to me. I don’t need to physically write down important days or events; my mind does it all for me. This is equally amusing, irritating, and sometimes painful. The best memories of my lifeā€”time at the barn, road trips with dad, triumphant wins in tennis, college, etc.ā€”I know the dates for. But painful and awkward times are easily retained too. A certain anniversary passes by, and Iā€™m either aglow with warm and fuzzy memories, or silently brooding over a sad event.

Most often however, nostalgia I find as a comfort. So it comes as no surprise that Iā€™m usually not a big fan of New Yearā€™s: like a dear friend, Iā€™m reluctant to say farewell to a happy or spectacular year. Why should I have to say goodbye to a particular timeframe in which I was happy, content with everything? A new year means says going goodbye, stepping into something new. New Yearā€™s means change, which can be scary. When I was younger, New Yearā€™s was my least favorite holiday.

This New Yearā€™s Eve, however, is different. Itā€™s been a challenging year to say the least, but 2017 certainly had it great moments. Chiaroscuro, the Italian art term for contrasts in lighting, light and dark: this year was it. I got to spend one last glorious summer with my boy, Flash, knowing all too well that Iā€™d be, and was the one, to make that final decision to let him go. To choose the how and when and why of his means of passing. To arrange, while he was still alive, how and when he would be buried. To sign a contract stating that I understood the manner and date of burial.

So Iā€™m more than ready for a new year. Bring it. Am I nostalgic for those last months I spent with Flash? God yes. Of course I am, and will forever be. But then again, I have a lifetime of happy ā€œFuzzyā€ memories, literally. Iā€™ve always imagined that each cherished memory is like a precious, rare gemstone. My heart then, is studded with these ā€œgems.ā€ Thereā€™s a countless amount of ā€œFlashyā€ gems. Tennis gems. Happy childhood, loving family gems. Call it cheesy or what have you, but thatā€™s how I picture memories.

To conclude (what, is this an academic paper? Haha!), I say cheers to 2018. Letā€™s strike it rich with more gems. My nostalgia will never fade, but a new feeling of hope, or maybe just beingā€¦well, antsy, impatient, restless–for something new, some sort of change, pervades. Le tiemps viendra: the time will come.

~LMC